Back to School

So I am now sitting in class. . . hooray! (said sarcastically) I am back in the swing of things after a week break- that now I am finished with feels like it didn't actually happen. Can I just tell you, the stress of grad school is making me feel like it isn't even worth it. I think about the idea of another year + of this, and can't even stand the thought. I used to think that I loved school. . . as a matter of fact. . . I do. . . the learning part- right now I don't feel like I am learning. I just feel like I am having to do a bunch of busy work, which is totally inapplicable. I mean can't I just pay my 50 grand and get the degree without having to do all the crap? I am so sick of the stupid reports- which I have to do multiple times so they are just like the professors want them. . . the stupid tests which examine if I know what the professor wants me to cram in my head just before I take them. . . the papers. . . which actually are more like BS in paragraph form, supported by evidence which some researcher found, and I was able to google. Well, actually, its not all bad. I mean I like the fact that I am learning (in some classes) things that I may actually use. I just feel like teachers want you to feel like you are getting something out of it and therefore are giving tons of busy work- don't they realize that if all the teachers are giving us enough busy work to keep us busy we aren't just busy. . . we can't get it all done?
Sorry for the negative rant. . . I am just not too happy about being back.

The Bucket List

Things you have done during your lifetime:

(X) Gone on a blind date
( ) Donated Blood - I tried, but alas, 3rd world country. . . can't
(X) Skipped school
( ) Watched someone die
(x) Been to Canada
(x) Been to Mexico
(X) Been to Florida
(x) Been to Hawaii
(X) Been on a plane
( ) Been on a helicopter
(X) Been lost
(X- just got back) Gone to Washington, DC
( ) Hugged a homeless person
(X) Swam in the ocean
(X) Swam with Stingrays
(X) Been sailing in the ocean
(X) Cried yourself to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(X) Recently colored with crayons
( ) Ran a marathon
(x) Sang Karaoke
(X) Volunteered at a soup kitchen
( ) Paid for a meal with coins only
(X) Been to the top of the St. Louis Arch
(X- at least I think I did when I lived in Seattle) Seen the Northern Lights
( ) Been Parasailing
(X) Been on TV
(X) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(X) Made a prank phone call
( ) Been down Bourbon Street in New Orleans
(X) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(X) Fed an elephant
(X) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
( ) Fired a gun
( ) Danced in the rain-naked
(X) Been to the Opera
(X) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(X) Serenaded someone
(X- George Bush- sometime in the 80's) Seen a U.S.President in person
(X) Been kissed under the mistletoe
(X) Watched the sunrise with someone
( ) Driven a race car
(X) Been to a National Museum
(x) Been to a Wax Museum
(X-never again- yuck) Eaten caviar
(X) Blown bubbles
(X) Gone ice-skating
(X) Gone to the movies
( ) Been deep sea fishing
(X- by myself- it sucked) Driven across the United States
( ) Been in a hot air balloon
( ) Been sky diving
( ) Gone snowmobiling
(X)Lived in more than one country
(X) Lay down outside at night and admired the stars while listening to the crickets
(X) Seen a falling star and made a wish
(X) Enjoyed the beauty of Old Faithful Geyser
( )Seen the Grand Canyon - and camped there
(x) Seen the Statue of Liberty
(X- and got my shoe caught in it) Gone to the top of Seattle Space Needle
( ) Been on a cruise
(x) Traveled by train
( ) Traveled by motorcycle
(X) Been horse back riding
(X) Ridden on a San Francisco cable car
(X-both) Been to Disneyland OR Disney World
(X) Truly believe in the power of prayer
(x) Been in a rain forest
(x) Seen whales in the ocean
(X) Been to Niagara Falls
(X) Ridden on an elephant
( ) Swam with dolphins
(X) Been to the Olympics
( ) Walked on the Great Wall of China
( ) Saw and heard a glacier calf
(x) Been water-skiing
(X- man not this year though. . . sad) Been snow-skiing
(x) Been to Westminster Abbey
(X) Been to the Louvre
(X) Swam in the Mediterranean
(x) Been to a Major League Baseball game
( ) Been to a National Football League game
(X-scary even if they were tiny) Swam with sharks
(X) Been White Water Rafting
( ) Written a book or screen play
(X) Climbed a mountain
( ) Had a baby

Spring Break

Ahhhh,
Relaxation. All I can say is that this has been a much needed vacation. I have been on "spring break" since Friday, and let me just tell you. . . I forgot what it was like to relax. I have been here in Washington DC since Friday mid-morning. Ryan came down with me, but he had to leave Monday morning. I have seen pretty much everything there is to see (the big sites anyway) and done some pretty cool stuff. I think that the best thing about this city is that everything is free. . . well the museums that is. . . you seem to make up for the cost with the cost of the subway (between 2-4 bucks a ride)
Friday I rented my first car ever (being that I just turned 25 I now can) and we headed to my great aunt and uncle's place in DC. We went in to town later on and saw the Holocaust museum, a bit of stuff on the mall, and the national archives. It was pretty amazing to see the declaration of independence, and the articles of freedom and all. It made me think about this wonderful country I live in.
Saturday we went to Ryan's cousin's wedding at the DC temple. . . well I went to the temple. . . he went to the wedding. That afternoon we tried to go back into DC. . . unfortunately somehow I ended up on the freeway instead of a parking lot and we didn't actually see anything in town. . . well except the white house from the outside.
Sunday we went to the american history museum, and the natural history museum. We also saw the capitol building and the library of congress from the outside.
Yesterday has to be the best day so far. I woke up super early to get Ryan to the airport and return the car (otherwise it would have been twice the price. . . because we wouldn't have gotten the weekend rate.) I then took the bus in to town (which was outrageously expensive. . . figures. . . public transportation here is sooooo expensive) I got to the mall around 8:45 and was literally the ONLY person there. It was amazing! I got to see everything without the crowds. I walked up to the Washington monument, and got a ticket to go inside later. I then walked down to the WWII memorial, the Lincoln memorial, the Vietnam memorial, and the Jefferson memorial. I hit them all with very few people there. Next, I walked over to the Bureau of Printing and Engraving. It was awesome. . . I got to see $272 million dollars in the same room. . . wow. Next I went up the Washington monument, where I got to speak sign language to some people. . . so cool. After that I walked on over to the white house. . . which I am paying rent on and still can't go in :-( After that I went to some little american art museum (it was kinda lame) and then on over to the FBI building (yet another building I am paying for, and not allowed to enter) After that, I walked over to the old post office, where you can go up the 12 story tower. I think the views from there may be better than those from the Washington monument, probably because you aren't looking through glass to see them. Then, I went and sat in the Navy memorial and read a book and got a sun tan. . . ok not much of one, but can I just tell you what 70 degree weather feels like when there is a foot of snow on the ground where you live? So, that was my day. I got back around 4 and took a 3 hour nap. . . and then I had dinner and went to bed.

Snow day!

So, I know that it has been forever since I have written anything on my blog. I am pretty sure that no one will even read now when I do start posting again. . . but hey, why not. . . I didn't get this so people would read it anyway. . . it's just a place for me to express my own thoughts. . .
I guess I should write why I have been so lax in writing on my blog. I have been busy beyond belief. I am now working 10-15 hours a week, doing 5 hours of clinic- plus the added 15 hours of analysis on my sessions and the writing of reports, and the re-writing of reports. Oh and then class, I forgot about the 10 hours of class I also have to endure weekly. Did I mention tests?. . . the studying?. . . the paper writing?. . . How about church?. . . A relationship?. . . needless to say, I haven't had time for anything out of the necessary. I mean not that I am complaining. I do better work under pressure, even though I tend to have more breakdowns too. Poor Ryan. . . poor guy has to deal with my bi-weekly melt downs. I can't believe there is anyone in the entire world who would deal with my stressload. Ok. . . so life is good. . . it's just busy.

Ok. . . so on to the real reason for posting. Last week the snow finally melted. . . it is amazing the effect that a couple of days of 40 degree weather will do to the world. So saturday I actually went running in shorts and a t-shirt. I was a bit cold, but not too bad. Spring had finally come to Boston. I was so excited for the green earth to begin peeking through. . . then came Sunday. Sunday night it snowed a foot and a half. . . the streets were so bad that you literally couldn't drive. I had to shovel my car out. . . and when I say this I mean it. . . I literally shoveled my car off, not just out. I woke up to howling wind and of course no heat. . . (being that we haven't actually had a working heater all winter that didn't surprise me) but I didn't care. I looked at my phone to see what time it was and there, in my inbox was the best news of my life (yes. . . literally. . . ok maybe not literally. . . but close to it) I had gotten a text from fox weather telling me that my school was cancelled for the day. I got to stay home and study all day. Not that that sounds fun. . . but when you don't have time to do it during a normal week it is the best thing ever. At night I ordered in some Indian food (which I have been craving for a month. . . but Ryan won't go for it. . .) and just enjoyed my snow day.

A Sad Man

So yesterday I had my first encounter with something so many face in their classes on a daily basis. I was forced to sit in the front of a class in which a teacher discounted what I hold dear. He discounted God.
Ya know. . . at first I was really mad, angry that a man who doesn’t believe in God can preach over the pulpit of man (the lecturer’s podium) his own beliefs. I was angry that I, a christian, can’t even utter my Savior’s name. I thought of how contradictory it is that I am prohibited from saying that God exists, when I can be indoctrinated in the nonexistence of god in a class, which I pay $3000 to take, and have no choice to not listen. I am required to believe (for the time I am in his class) that there is no God, that only science, only the physical exists. There is no truth unless it can be seen, unless it can be proven. As he spoke of the incorrectness of feeling, and the correctness of proof, the invention of God, the invention of religion, etcetera, I became increasingly angry. Then as he looked at me and asked some question or other I looked into his eyes and saw. . . nothing. There was no light, there was no joy, there was no happiness. In that moment my anger turned to sadness. I was so sad for this man who could not prove God. This man who has studied the ways of men for years. This man who specializes in the ways in which variables may be manipulated was himself unmanipulable. He was unable to be allow himself to become the dependent variable, with the independent variable being God. How sad would it be to live a life where there is no one to turn to when something goes wrong but yourself, no one to help you, no one to cry to when your life goes astray. How terrible a life. I live in a world where God has told me how to prove he exists, and I choose to accept his invitation, and not only to step into the unknown in faith, but to continue forward, and I find joy in my belief in the unproveable. I felt so sorry for this sad man.

Modern Conveniences

This weekend has been quite an experience.
Thursday: our landlord came and fixed our heat. . . turns out that instead of making steam to heat the apartment, there was too much water in the thing so we were just boiling water all day long. He also took a look at the unit in my room and fixed it. For the first time this winter it actually got hot. It was the best day ever!
Friday: heat! It's a wonderful thing. Our house actually got into the high 60's (which is so much better than 54 degrees!)
Saturday: Water heater explodes, flooding the basement, and making it impossible for us to take showers. We called the landlord but got no answer. Fun.
Sunday: We woke up and realized that the heat had stopped working completely, not just a little, but completely. It was all of 37 degrees in my room (which technically is cold enough to make snow under certain conditions. . . cool, I woke up in a winter wonderland) On top of it, our hot water was still out and being that it was only 11 degrees outside our cold water was actually almost frozen water. It was so much fun. I spent a good portion of the morning boiling water so I could take some semblance of a shower/sponge bath. Sadly that made me late for church. Our landlord finally called us back, but since it was Sunday couldn't do anything but shut off the waterline going to the hot water heater. In the evening we had people over for dinner, which was a chore because we had to boil water to wash dishes otherwise we couldn't stand to put our hands in the water. We also had to eat in the kitchen so we could be warm enough. Overall, it was quite the experience. Finally around 8pm our heater decided it knew how to turn on again, so we went to bed in warm rooms, and woke up to a warm house!
Monday: Our landlord is currently in our basement replacing our water heater. HOORAY!
Overall it has been quite the experience, I realized that the things I learned on my mission which I never thought I would use come in pretty handy. I know how to take a shower with 5 gallons of water, I know how to do laundry in a bucket, I know how to heat an apartment with a stove, all sorts of things. Experiences like this make me thankful for modern conveniences.

Random Acts of Kindness

Once in a while, but far more often than one would think possible in a big city in this day and age, I find myself overwhelmed by the little kindnesses people show.
This week I have been astonished at how many people have shown me that people aren't all bad. Wednesday I got off the T at Government Center, and as everyone was pushing and shoving to get by (the T was being taken out of service so literally everyone was getting off) one young man stepped back and invited me to pass him as we were going out the door. I know it was no big deal for him. It cost him a mere second of his life to smile, and say "go ahead" and yet, it made my day. Something so small, so simple, and yet so meaningful.
Today, I decided to take the fast way to where I was going, even if it was going to cost me $1.25 (toll roads...so fun) to get there. I had a dollar and found two dimes and a nickle, but as I was slowing down to go through the toll booth, I dropped a dime, and was searching frantically for it. I looked up as the person in front of me pulled away. I opened my wallet to find another dollar so that I wouldn't have to break a 20. As I did the man in the tollbooth waved me forward. "that's odd I thought to myself. . . usually they don't wave me forward. . . I must have been sitting here longer than I had thought." I rolled down my window, and he said "go ahead, the people in the car ahead of you just payed your toll" "wow" I thought. That was so nice of them. They had no idea that I couldn't find the 25 cents. They did something so kind for a complete stranger. It made my day.
As I drove on down the freeway (for it truly was a freeway today, being that I didn't have to pay) I thought to myself about the little things people do for me on a daily basis, some that I recognize, some that I don't. How often do I do things for others? How often do I make the day of a complete stranger? How often do I preform random acts of kindness?