Help from the Lord

So, this week is finals. Hooray! (not) Well, I guess in reality it is a hooray. I mean I will finally be done with my first semester of grad school. Who knows if it will be my only semester of grad school or not. I mean I already know that I failed one class, and if I don't get a 3.0 this semester then I am out of the program... or if I fail another class (which means below a B-) I am also out of the program. Not that I am planning on failing, or not getting a 3.0, but let me tell you... as of right now I am cutting it close. I am praying, and praying hard to be able to stay in my major, because I don't know what else I would do with my life if not. This semester has been tough, not because the work is tough (because, it isn't) but because I have discovered the depth and breadth of my ADD. For some reason I can't get on top of assignments... they are easy, but somehow they slip my mind no matter how many reminders I give myself. I have had the hardest time turning things in, which has greatly affected my grades. I have also discovered that it is really difficult for me to study. I mean I always knew that I didn't study, but I don't think I knew that I had a hard time studying. I just figured it was because I didn't need to. Now, I need to (and I mean it isn't like I need to study for hours on end, I just need to study) and I haven't been able to focus for long enough to do so. It has been a blessing in discuise though. I have learned the ways I can study. For example- if I have to memorize anatomical stuff, I need to draw it. I draw it and lable it once from the book, and once from memory, and bingo. I know it. This weekend I finally found out how to study other information. I was praying really hard to be able to study, and I asked the Lord to help me know how to study so that things would stick in my mind and I would be able to learn what I needed to know. As I sat there listening I learned that if I would read the information aloud and then try to recite it from memory immediately afterward I would be able to memorize the information. So... I tried it. Never in my life have I been so successful. Never. Literally I read something one time out loud... then I close my eyes and say it out loud, and it doesn't leave my memory again. If that isn't a blessing, I don't know what is. The Lord has helped me out so much this semester. I just hope that I am able to remain in my major long enough to apply the things he has taught me. If not, I will still know that he loves me and has a plan for my life. I am glad he does... because believe me... I don't know where I am going. So, those of you who read this... pray for me... pray that I can stay in my major, if it be God's will, but that if not... I will know what to do with my life instead.
-Catherine